


Her Memory's

by Magical_Moonlight_Princess



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Episode AU: s11e09 It Takes You Away, F/F, Solitract - Freeform, Solitract River, Space Wives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24835939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magical_Moonlight_Princess/pseuds/Magical_Moonlight_Princess
Summary: The episode ‘It Takes You Away’ if the solitract took the form of River Song for the Doctor
Relationships: Grace O'Brien/Graham O'Brien, Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair, Thirteenth Doctor/River Song
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	1. The Lost Love

**Author's Note:**

> Should know when they are talking in Italics it's from the script, if it's typed normally it's not from the script.  
> This is also my first fanfic that I have ever published so I'm sorry if it needs work. I hope you enjoy.

“Don’t you want to see your friends?”.

“What are you talking about?” The Doctor asked.

“They got here when you did,” Tirne replied.

**(the Doctors POV)**

We all walked out to see what Tirne was talking about. Behind the sheets on the washing line there were two people. They looked like they were talking to each other but we could not hear what they were saying. Graham recognized one of the outlines when I recognized the other. 

My heart’s skipped a beat and I froze on the spot when I realized who it was. I didn't think I would see her again after Darillium. After a moment I worked up the courage to walk up to her. When I did, the woman turned to me, looked me up and down and said the two words that I missed so much. 

“Hello Sweetie” 

I let out a quiet sob and fell into Rivers arms. River held on to me, smiling and stroking my hair. 

“I’m assuming it has been a long time since the last time you saw me. In your timeline it must have been Darillium right?” That made me freeze. How did River know about Darillium? In River’s timeline Darillium was right before the Library and the Library was where she died. She can’t have met the Doctor in between those two times. Unless… 

“Are you the data ghost?” I asked, looking up at River. River smiled at me, we were still holding each other. 

“No, I don’t believe so. I feel too real. Too alive.” That made me worry. 

If River remembers going to The Library, and she is here, how is she not a data ghost? How is that even possible? I turned around to see the other figure Graham went to. Grace? How is Grace here? Grace is dead. She died when they encountered Tim Shaw. She fell from the crane. 

“You, Grace and Tirne can’t be here. How are you here?” I asked. 

“I don’t know Sweetie. But we are. Aren’t we?” River asked me. I gave River a quick kiss on the side of her jaw, pulled away from her and stepped out. River held on to my hands. 

“I need to think. I’ll be back” I kissed her wife's hands before retiring to the house as fast as I could without running. Yaz looked between me, River, Graham and Tirne before following me into the house. 

“Doctor!?” Yaz called out before she entered the house. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

**(3rd POV)**

_ “All right, no need to panic.” _ the Doctor said. She was trying very hard not to panic but not succeeding too well. Especially about River. 

_ “I wasn't panicking.” _ Yaz said, thinking the Doctor was talking about her. 

_ “I know, I was talking to myself. Cos all this is very wrong.” _ The Doctor decided to start at the beginning instead of focusing on River. _ “Right, what do we know? This mirror is a direct portal between two worlds. We went into it in the real world. We came out of it in this world. But that anti zone sprung up in the middle, splitting the portal in two.” _

_ “The buffer zone between the two worlds.” _ Yaz said. 

_ “Exactly, cos anti zones only exist where the fabric of the universe is under huge, terrible threat. Oh. So that means that one must be to stop this world and your world from ever touching. Wait, but that means that this world is dangerous. But how can it be dangerous? Also,  _

_ what even has the power to create a copy world like this?” _ That’s when the Doctor realises what is happening. But it can’t be. Can it?  _ “Unless... Oh, no actual way!” _ the Doctor said. 

_ “No actual way, what?” _ Yaz asked. 

_ “I've told you about the Solitract, right?” _ the Doctor asked. She was pretty sure she had, but still had to check.

_ “Literally never heard the word before. Solitract?” _ Yaz said. 

_ “Solitract! It's a theory, a myth, a bedtime story my gran used to tell me.” _ the Doctor said.

_ “You had a grandmother?” _ Yaz asked. 

_ “I had seven, but Granny Five, my favourite, used to tell me about the Solitract. Cos in the beginning - pre-Time, pre-everything - all the laws and elements and nuts and bolts of the universe were there. Light, matter, maths, and so on. But they couldn't fit together properly, because the Solitract was there.” _ the Doctor explained.

_ “So what is the Solitract?”  _ Yaz said. 

_ “A consciousness, an energy. Our reality cannot work with Solitract energy present. The most basic ideas of the universe just get ruined. Think of it like a kid with chickenpox - nuclear chicken pox - who wants to join in but always ends up infecting everyone else. Our universe cannot work with the Solitract in it.” _ the Doctor explained.

_ “Your gran told you this as a bedtime story?” _ Yaz said. 

_ “Only when I had trouble sleeping. So, what did our universe do? It managed to exile the Solitract to a separate, unreachable existence. The Solitract plane. And suddenly, everything makes sense. The universe could finally work because the Solitract had been removed.” _ the Doctor explained.

_ “Hang on. Are you saying we're now on the Solitract plane?” _ Yaz said. 

_ “I wish I wasn't but I think I am. I'm scared. Are you scared? I'm genuinely terrified!”  _ the Doctor said panicking. She really did not want it to be but did not not know what else it could be. That would also mean that River was not real and her heart broke because of it. She tried not to show her sadness at this point as she needed to concentrate. She could cry in the TARDIS all she liked but it was really hard to not show her emotions now. 

_ “This is a separate exiled universe that is also a consciousness.” _ Yaz was beginning to understand. 

_ “That's what Granny Five said. A conscious universe. She also said that Granny Two was a secret agent for the Zygons, but she seems bang on with this one. But why? Why has the Solitract copied your world, including  _ River _ , Grace and Trine, and built a doorway to our universe?”  _ the Doctor wondered.

_ “When you put it like that, it sounds like a trap.” _ Yaz said. 

The two looked at each other then ran out to Graham. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

**(The Doctors POV)**

River was walking up to me. “You ok Doctor?” River asked. She looked concerned. 

“Yaz, go down to Graham, tell him we’re leaving” Yaz ran off as I turned to River who took my hands. 

What’s wrong Sweetie?” River asked. 

“You can’t be River.” I could feel tears on my cheek. I had been mourning River for so long. Since Darillium. I don't know how I am going to cope with this. This is going to be torture. 

“But it feels like me. Here.” River laid her hand on my cheek while holding my hand tightly with the other. “Can you feel my hands? They are real. I am real. I can feel you. Your tears are dripping on my hand.” River leaned in and kissed me. The kiss was tender and gentle. It was very sweet. It melted both of my hearts. I put her free hand through River's curls onto her shoulder. Tears kept coming in my eyes. I desperately wanted to believe this is real. 

River then broke the kiss, her face still inches from mine. “See, I’m real. Can you believe that?” River whispered to me. 

“I really don’t know,” I whispered. I want to believe it but I can’t. “I want to believe but I’m not sure” 

“I’m here” River whispered gently, wiping my tears off my cheeks. “Right here” 


	2. The Escape

Graham, Yaz and Grace were watching the couple. They had never seen the Doctor being intimate with anyone. It was a bit of a shock for Graham and Yaz when they walked up and saw the Doctor being kissed by a woman that none of them had met. 

The Doctor saw the Gang looking at her and River so she stepped back and called out to them. 

“Hey guys, we need to go. Inside now.’ She started to go inside. The others followed her. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

_ “I need to get this open and get Graham, Erik and myself out of here.” _ THe Doctor was very worried about the lengths the Solitract would go to and what would happen to Erik, Graham and herself. River was still next to her, not saying anything. She pointed her Sonic Screwdriver at the mirror  _ “Oh, it won't budge! It must be controlled by the Solitract.” _ She tried again  _ “Oh, and I can't force it with the sonic like before, because it's clever and it's adapting.” _

“It will be ok Sweetie” River was saying, trying to comfort her. 

_ “What if you do something it hasn't dealt with before, like reverse the polarity or something?” _ Yaz suggested remembering the Doctor mentioning it before. 

The Doctor stared at Yaz in shock.  _ “Yasmin Khan, you speak my language.” _ She did exactly that. It was working.  _ “I think we're good to go.”  _

_ “Nice work, Doctor.” _ Yaz said. 

_ “Thank you, I do my best.’  _ The Doctor called out to the others. ‘ _ Graham, Erik, time to go!” _

_ “Come on, love.” _ Graham said to Grace, trying to bring her too. Grace stood there, looking scared.  _ “Grace, come on.”  _

_ “I'm not sure.” _ Grace told Graham. He looked worried but mostly confused. 

_ “I can't hold it open much longer. Graham, Yaz, Erik, now please!” _ the Doctor called out in a bit of a panic. At that moment Hanne runs through the mirror.  _ “What are you doing here?”  _

_ “Hanne, it's me.” _ Erik called out. At that moment the portal closed to the Doctors' frustration. 

_ “I heard my dad!” _ Hanne shuted and Erik ran to Hanne. 

_ “It's okay. It's okay. I'm here.” _ Erik hugged Hanne. 

_ “Where are we? What's happening?” _ Hanne asked. 

The Doctor tried the portal again but it did not work.  _ “The portal's adapted again. I can't open it.” _ the Doctor said frustrated. River holds the Doctor's hand to comfort her. 

Erik pulled back from Hanne.  _ “I've got a surprise for you. It's your mum, Hanne. She's alive.”  _

Hanne looked shocked.  _ “What?”  _

_ “Hanne.” _ Trine came to Hanne and hugged her.  _ “Oh, my gorgeous girl.”  _

Hanne pushed Trine away from her.  _ “I don't know who you are, but you are not my mum.” _ The world then shook.  _ “Ryan? Ryan!” _ Hanne called out. 

_ “Ryan's not here.”  _ Yaz said before realisation hit her.  _ “Wait, was he in the anti zone with you?”  _

_ “He's still in there with those things.” _ Hanne said worriedly. 

_ “The portal's shut and Ryan's still in there.” _ the Doctor said. She was panicking even more now, still trying to control herself. 

_ “Well, get it... get it open. We've got to help him.” _ Graham told the Doctor, pointing to the mirror. 

_ “No!” _ Grace cried holding onto Graham. 

_ “What do you mean, no?” _ Graham asked letting go of Grace. 

The world shook again. The Doctor was trying to avoid looking at River while she was talking, not wanting to think of her as a fake, even if she knew she was. She walked over to Grace and Trine and talked to them instead.  _ “This world is falling apart because of us still being here. You and us are still totally incompatible. Erik being here may have been manageable, but five of us? That's a lot more incompatible stuff! You've gone over capacity. You need to let us go now.” _

_ “Is it me or is this woman completely mad?” _ Trine asked.

“My wife has always been mad, even as my husband and I love her like that.” River said with a smirk to the Doctor. “She was my ‘madman with a box’.” 

“If I stay here, I won’t even have my box.” the Doctor replied. Her voice was filled with worry. Yaz was shocked about this woman claiming to be the Doctor's wife but let it pass as there were more worrying things here. 

_ “Grace, Trine and whoever she is aren't doing this.” _ Graham said, not wanting to believe any of this. 

“I am Professor River Song by the way. Please use my name” River said, seemingly annoyed with being addressed as ‘whoever she is’. 

_ “Of course they are. They're made of Solitract energy. Hanne can sense it, why can't you? Why? What did you build this all for?” _ Grace holds Graham's hand while River holds tight to the Doctors. The Doctor looks at Grace and Graham’s hands and to River when realisation hits her.  _ “Oh, I'm dumb. Of course. You want the same thing you've always wanted. To be with us. So you've built a world you thought we'd like, and taken forms we won't reject.” _ The Doctor looks at River at the last part. “You are doing a really good job at that.”

_ “Don't listen to her, love.” _ Grace begged Graham. 

“Sweetie, please see sense.” River pulled the Doctor to face her. River’s arm was around her waist with her other hand on the back of her head. 

_ “Don't take advantage of _ them.” Yaz demanded, seemingly angry.  _ “You're not Grace _ and you are not this River the Doctor seems to care so much for. I may not have known River but I know that  _ the real Grace was a beautiful smiling superstar. And you know what she was above all else? She was brave. And she'd be leading the charge through that mirror.” _

Trine sends out a wave of energy through her hand that throws Yasmin through the mirror.

_ “Yaz!” _ the Doctor called out, still in Rivers' arms. 

_ “How did I do that?” _ Trine asked, looking at her hands as if she was shocked and confused. 

_ “Oh, I think you know.” _ the Doctor said, looking at Trine knowingly. 

_ “I want to go home.” _ Hanne said, not liking being here. 

_ “Hanne. Don't be scared.” _ Trine said, going to Hanne before turning to Erik.  _ “Erik, tell her it's okay.” _

Erik came to Hanne.  _ “Hanne, we're in a place, and it's close enough to home. We can stay. I wouldn't ask you to stay if it wasn't safe.” _

_ “You would, Dad. You're not well. You haven't been since Mum died.” _ Hanne told her dad. She then turned to Trine  _ “You're not my mum. Whatever you are, I hate you. Now, let me out!” _ Trine then did the same thing she did to Yaz but now to Hanne. 

The Doctor looked around, noticing that everyone here had someone the Solitrac was impersonating. This is going to be hard. She might as well start. “It’s just us now.” Finally pulling out of River’s arms she moved to Graham.  _ “Graham, Yaz and Hanne have shown us how to do this. Ryan is out there in danger, and this place is collapsing in.” _

Graham was having difficulty with what was happening.  _ “Doc, I know what you're asking me to do. I just... I just can't do it.” _

“Hey, I’m trying to convince myself as much as you are.” the Doctor whispered to Graham. 

The whole place shook again.

“You don’t have to leave me my love.” River placed her hands on the Doctor’s shoulders, who had her back to her. 

The Doctor was desperate now.  _ “ _ They're _ not  _ our  _ wifes.  _ They’re _ furniture with a pulse.” _ she choked out. She felt horrible saying it but it had to be said. 

_ “Please don’t listen to her, love.” _ Grace was begging Graham. 

_ “Graham, please. I know how hard this is for you.  _ It’s hard for me too.  _ But let her go or we're all going to die.” _ the Doctor begged. There was another big shake.  _ “I know, deep down, you still blame yourself for what happened to Grace. _ I still blame myself for what happened to River. Just please know,  _ it was not your fault. Please, reject her, because you know that is not Grace.” _

_ “Don't leave me, love. Not again.” _ Grace begged again. 

“Sweetie, please stop” River begged, holding the Doctor's shoulders. 

Graham looked at Grace before he asked  _ “What about Ryan? He's in trouble out there, love.” _

_ “He'll be fine.”  _ Grace tried to reassure him. _ “He's a smart lad.” _

There was another big shake. The Doctor stumbled and River held onto her to stop her falling. 

_ “This reality's collapsing, Graham!” _ the Doctor called out. 

_ “So close. You were so close.” _ Graham was muttering  _ “You see, Grace would never let me leave Ryan in danger. You're a fake. I wish you weren't, but you are.” _ Graham's voice was full of pain. 

A blast of energy shot from Grace’s hand to send Graham through the portal then she faded away in a twirl of helices.

_ “Oh, Grace.” _ the Doctor whispers sadly. 

_ “What happened to her?”  _ Erik asked

_ “Surplus to requirements,” _ the Doctor answered, turning to Erik.  _ “Now do you believe me?”  _

The world shook violently again. 

“Erik, we need to deny them if we want the universe to survive. We can’t stay here. We need to move on.” The Doctor was desperately trying to convince herself as well as Erik

_ “But I can't.” _ Erik said. He doesn't want to lose Trine again. 

The Doctor then had an idea.  _ “No. Of course you can't. Fine.”  _ She turned to Trine.  _ Congratulations. Erik wants you.”  _ Trine smiled at Erik but River looked worried. 

_ “Just one thing. This world is falling apart. I reckon you can only keep one of us. You sure he's your best option?”  _ River looked at the Doctor with a hopeful expression. 

_ “Cos the Solitract doesn't want a husband, you want a whole universe. Someone who has seen it all, and that's me. I've lived longer, seen more, loved more and lost more. I can share it all with you. Anything you want to know about what you never had. Cos he's an idiot with a daughter who needs him. So let him go and I will give you everything.” _

Erik had tears in his eyes as he looked at Trine.  _ “You're not Trine.” _ he finally admits. 

_ “Finally, Erik.” _ the Doctor said. Trine blasted Erik through the portal. Trine disappeared like Grace. The world shook again as The Doctor moved towards River.  _ “You can stop being  _ River _ now, cos this universe is going critical. If it blows, it'll take out the anti zone and my universe too!” _

The shaking stopped and everything went white. 


	3. The Explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the Doctor would not be this open but I want her to give an exception this time as she has had an emotional day so she would not put on as much of a fight and her fam deserve an explanation for what they saw.

When walking back to the TARDIS the Doctor was in her own head. She couldn't stop thinking of what had happened, of River. She knew that the solitract was not River, she had accepted that, but that didn't stop it from feeling like saying goodbye again. She didn’t know if she could take that. 

When they got back in the TARDIS, she took off into the vortex and turned to her gang. She was about to ask where they wanted to go when they beat her with a question. “Who was she Doctor?” Yaz asked. “The woman the Solitract became for you with the crazy blond hair? We know she was important to you.” 

The Doctor was silent for a while. She didn't know what to say at first. She didn't usually talk about River. But now she felt like she should. “Her name was River Song” she finally answered. 

“Was she part of your family that you lost?” Ryan asked. He was the only one that wasn't there so he never saw her. 

The Doctor then turned to the console to bring up a picture of River. The gang thought she was going to ignore their question but she answered before they said anything else. “She was my wife” 

“Your wife!?” Ryan asked, a bit shocked. 

“She did act very close to you.” Graham commented. He had strongly expected that so he was not very surprised. “You looked a lot closer than friends. Plus I think I remember her mentioning something like that.” 

“You don’t seem like the marrying type.” Yaz said. She hadn’t believed that this River Song was the Doctor's wife. She’d heard River saying it but it still didn’t sink in. The Doctor seemed too crazy and unbelievable to settle down and get married. 

The Doctor just smiled. “She wasn't really a wedding person either. We were both too adventurous. I guess that is how we were about to make it work.'' After getting a photo, she turned around to face her gang. “I have photos of her if you want to see.'' Ryan walked over to have a look. It was a photo of River in a fancy red dress at Darillium, leaning on a balcony with the Singing Towers behind her. She looked incredibly beautiful. Most of the pictures the Doctor had of River were taken on Darillium as that was one of the only times they had time and an excuse to take photos. 

“She is hot, Doctor. You are a very lucky woman” Ryan complemented. 

“Yes. I was lucky to have her” the Doctor admitted. 

There was more silence for a moment before the gang sat down on the stairs to talk. 

“How did you meet?” Graham asked. They wanted to know more but didn't want to push too hard. 

The Doctor chuckled a little. “In the wrong order” was her answer. Everyone else got very confused and showed it. 

“What does that mean?” Ryan asked. 

“It’s very complicated,” the Doctor said simply. 

“What relationship isn't?” Graham asked. 

The Doctor took a deep breath. “The first day I met her was the last day she met me. We are both Time Travelers so we meet in the wrong order. I had no idea who she was but she knew everything about me. Things no one else knew about me. She died that day to save 4022 people and our story” 

“Save your story?” Yaz asked. 

“I was going to sacrifice myself but River wouldn't let me. If I died that day River would have never met me and she didn't want that. She knocked me out and handcuffed me to a pole so I wouldn't stop her.” the Doctor explained sadly, trying not to cry. She would prefer to cry alone. Her gang saw how sad the Doctor was about that so they decided to get away from that encounter. 

“What about when she met you?” Graham asked. He thought it must be better and from the way the Doctor was giggling a little he assumed it was. He and the others were surprised by the answer. 

“She was raised as an assassin to kill me” the Doctor answered. 

“I thought you said she was your wife?” Ryan said. Very confused. 

“She did kill me… twice. First time by kissing me with poisoned lipstick. She then used all her remaining regeneration energy to bring me back to life. As first dates go, I’d say that sent mixed signals” the Doctor explained. 

“Regeneration energy?” Yaz asked, wanting to know.    
  


“It’s what Time Lords use to stop themselves from dying. If a Time Lord's body is dying, they can regenerate and get a new body. It can also muck up their personality a bit too but they are still the same person. It's how I am a woman now when I used to be a man.” the Doctor explained   
  


“So she gave all of hers to you?” Graham asked. He felt his heart swell by how sweet that was.   
  


“Yes”   
  


“But you said she killed you twice?” Yaz asked. If that was the first time, what would happen for this woman to want to kill the Doctor again?   
  


“The second time she did not want to. She was kidnapped and stuffed into a space suit that moves by itself. She begged me to run, even almost destroying time to keep me alive but it was a fixed point. I had to convince her that I would still be alive after it but that was my official death in the records. She had to spend her days in prison for it. It was also the day I married her,” the Doctor added with a small smile.    
  


“You chucked your wife in prison?” Yaz asked, a bit upset by that. Even if she did kill the Doctor, she didn’t really and she was forced to. Plus this woman was her wife.    
  


“No. I said her days. Her nights, well. That’s between her and me. She was amazing at breaking out of prison too. She could walk in and out of her cell like the walls weren't there. Very impressive for a top security cell in Stormcage. I also erased myself from the documents so the person who she killed never existed. She got a pardon.”   
  


“Well that's a relief,” Yaz said, relieved that the Doctor had cared enough to help fix that problem and not just leave her there.    
  


There was another moment of silence until they thought of another question. 

“What was she like?” Graham asked.    
  


That made the Doctor smile. “She was brave, daring, crazy, kind, sneaky, very flirty and all around amazing. She was an archaeologist as well as an university professor of archaeology. She would leave messages for me in the most outrageous places. She once graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe to get my attention. When I confronted her about it she defended herself by saying ‘you didn't answer your phone’. She would jump off of 50 story roof tops and out of spaceships, knowing I would catch her. She would pick fights with Sontarans, having them chase her across a galaxy and still make it out unharmed.”

The Doctor kept talking as if she was in a loving trance, her eyes glued to the photo. It was as if she had forgotten there was anyone else there. The gang stayed quiet for a while, in awe of this woman the Doctor married. 

“She sounds amazing,” Ryan finally said. .

“She was” the Doctor confirmed, nodding her head.

“Wish we could have met her” Graham confessed. She sounded like an interesting person to meet.

“We never meet in the right order so we never know” the Doctor smiled. “You just might.” 

  
  
  


**The End**


End file.
